And They Lived Happily Ever After

As a young girl I loved reading Fairytales which would usually end with the Prince who won the heart of the Princess, they got married and lived happily ever after. This is what I believed true love is and what happened in real life, but having grown up I sit back and reflect on the teachings of these fairytales and wonder how misguided they are.

For those of you who are married you know that as thrilling as the chase was and as whirlwind as your relationship may have been, it is not truly the only hard work required in your relationship and in the words of Beyoncé "putting a ring on it" does not mean that you can now just sit back and enjoy the spoils of your hard work. On the contrary the hard work begins when you say I do, not because there is anything wrong with the person you chose or that your relationship is doomed but simply because any great marriage requires work. Lets take my life as an example, I met my husband at the end of my high school career at the age of 18, we were married at the age of 24 and one and a half months later I was pregnant, had our first child within our first year of marriage, then 3 years later our second child, by the time we were 30 we had been married for 6 years and had 2 kids. Now you take that craziness, throw in work stress, life stress and everyday drama and bam you are set for a rollercoaster of a life that could derail at any time. It is so important that as a couple you take a minute in all the chaos to make time for each other, be it that you have a cup of coffee together and chat (no phone, no laptop, no tv) just you two engaging about your days struggles and activities. We schedule date nights regularly and my mom being from a different era could not understand why we needed date nights because we were married and I remember telling her that as much as my kids are my everything, this man is my world and if we don't work then this family wont work so its important to make time to reconnect and talk about something other than the kids or work, talk about our hopes and dreams like we did when we were younger. I know that times are tough and we cant always afford to go out but there is no excuse, once the kids are asleep, take out a blanket put it down in the lounge, dim the lights play some romantic music quietly in the background and share a glass of wine or coffee whatever your preference. My husband and I often get told that our relationship is so solid and that it is a goal for them to have something as special as we do but again this does not just happen, there is no 'I woke up this way' when it comes to marriage, effort in equals rewards. Most marriages fail because of lack of communication, he stops making me feel special so I retaliate and don't give him the attention he needs or craves and this stubborn behavior festers and before you know it months have past and it is now the norm, its simple guys TALK about it, your perception could be dangerous and your partner may not even be aware of what he/she is doing.

So what do I think the Fairytales should end with instead of the misguided line of they got married and lived happily ever after? I think simply put it should read: They got married and though life was not always easy they worked hard at making a great life for their family and because of their hard work they lived happily ever after - THE END